Motherhood, still fairly recent with 2 kids under 5, has changed my life in many ways. As a first time mother, I felt that life as I had known it, disappeared overnight. The social structure, the work life, the things that defined me, had all transformed. I was not prepared for such a giant leap all at once. Over the next couple of years and with the birth of my second child, I started to see things in a new light. I started to see the positive side of the changes that motherhood brought to my life. These unexpected changes transcend the mother child relationship. They have spilled over to all aspects of my life.
1. I have never been more mindful of my time and priorities
As an amateur artist, I have made more art after having my 2 kids than I did before. Only because it is clear to me that if I get any time to myself, this is how I want to spend it. Motherhood has given me clarity about what is worthy of my time and what isn’t. My priorities have shifted. I am very selective and specific about things I want to engage in. Having a clarity on my priorities has also freed me of the unnecessary burden of stressing about things that don’t really matter. Motherhood is like a filter, which has only let the things I am most committed to, to pass through.
2. I have never been more efficient or a better multi-tasker
Motherhood changed my approach towards my professional work. I am usually the first one to get in and out of work. However, I ensure that I make all my minutes count. I am focussed and engaged, thriving on the challenge of having limited time to finish my tasks in the most effective manner. Now I am also more creative in making time for things that I enjoy. I have ‘read’ more books and listened to more podcasts than ever before. Audio books and podcasts are my new best friends. Cleaning up at the end of the day or a walking to grab lunch is more exciting when I am tuned into my favorite audio shows.
3. I have never focused more on personal finance
The truth is that I started to care about my finances, now that I have kids. We put down an estate plan right before the arrival of our first child. I want to make sure we have a plan for my family in both the best and the worst of times. Before having kids, I was happy earning and spending, with some savings but was not budgeting or monitoring my expenses. Now, I feel more responsible to take control of my finances. Honestly, it makes me feel more comfortable and in control. A side perk is also knowing that like everything else, these are the habits that I will inadvertently pass on to my kids.
4. My outlook on health and self-care has shifted
Motherhood changed the narrative about health and self-care. I had already been in a consistent exercise routine for a decade before having kids. I ran marathons and did boot camps, worked out with my buddies over the weekends and went on day long hikes. Back then the motivation was to take upon the challenges and to finish them. Now staying healthy and active is a staple necessity in life. I want to be the best version of myself physically and mentally so that I can raise the best version of my kids. The workout routines look different now. It is usually squeezing in HIITs or incorporating shorter runs here and there during the day. My total workout time now is what was spent in commuting or gearing up to show up for the workout before.
5. I have learned to embrace the unknown and find beauty in it
After having a child with a hearing disability (I talk more about my deaf son here), I learnt that life doesn’t owe us anything, even things that we take for granted. There is no answer to why me. The beauty lies in acceptance and embracing the unexpected. I have also learned that a lot of our perceptions are formed based on our own experiences and limitations. Having known deaf community closely since having my son, I realized how vast and varied the human experiences are in this world, and my experiences are just a small portion of that collective pool.
6. I question my mission and purpose in life more often than I did ever before
Since having my kids, and through my individual motherhood experiences, I started to question the mission and purpose of my life. I also question whether my actions are aligned with my misson on a daily basis. This has helped me in living a happier and fuller life. It has also rocked my boat many times because I am trying to change the defaults.
Motherhood changed my life for the better in many positives ways. It has offered me bigger learnings than what I got from any educational degrees or job experiences. It has helped me becomes a better learner and do better at all my roles.